If you’re feeling like your artistic life is just one battle after another. Fear not, we’re all waging a war. Remember, the artist today reflects the child who survived. Don’t give up. Keep doing everything that is necessary each day, and then what is possible and soon you’re doing the impossible and fulfilling your dreams (with props to St. Francis).
Today’s tasks continue with The Artist’s Way and Week 7: Recovering A Sense of Connection.
This entry will help us deal with jealousy and how it impedes our creative recovery and life.
From page 123 of Cameron’s book:
Jealousy. I’ve often hear, is a normal human emotion. Wen I hear that, I think, “Maybe your jealousy — not mine.”
My jealousy roars in the head, tightens the chest, massages my stomach lining with a cold fist as it searches out the best grip. I have long regarded jealousy as my greatest weakness. only recently have I seen it for the tough-love friend that it is.
Jealousy is a map. Each of our jealousy maps differs. Each of us will probably be surprised by some of the things we discover on our own. I, for example, have never been eaten alive with resentment over the success of women novelists. But I took an unhealthy interest in the fortunes and misfortunes of women playwrights. I was their harshest critic, until I wrote my first play.
With that action, my jealousy vanished, replaced by a feeling of camaraderie. My jealousy had actually been a mask for my fear of doing something I really wanted to do but was not yet brave enough to take aciton toward.
Jealousy is always a mask for fear: fear that we aren’t able to get what we want; frustration that somebody else seems to be getting what is rightfully ours even if we are too frightened to reach for it. At its root, jealousy is a stingy emotion. It doesn’t allow for the abundance and multiplicity of the universe. Jealousy tells us there is room for only one — one poet, one painter, one whatever you dream of being.
The truth, revealed by action in the direction of our dreams, is that there is room for all of us. But jealousy produces tunnel vision. It narrows our ability to see things in perspective. It strips us of our ability to see other otpions. The biggest lie that jealousy tells us is that we have no choice but to be jealous. Perversely, jealousy strips us of our will to act when action holds the key to our freedom.
THE JEALOUSY MAP, AN EXERCISE
Your jealousy map will have three columns. In the first column, name those whom you are jealous of. Next to each name write why. Be as specific and accurate as you can. In the third column, list one action you can take to move toward creative risk and out of jealousy. When jealousy bites, like a snakebite it requires an immediate antidote. On paper, make your jealousy map.
| WHO |
WHY |
ACTION-ANTIDOTE |
| My sister Libby |
She has a real art studio |
Fix spare room |
| My friend Ed |
Writes good crime novels |
Try writing one |
| Anne Sexton |
Famous poet |
Publish my long-hoarded poems |
Even the biggest changes begin with small ones. Green is the color of jealousy, but it is also the color of hope. When you learn to harness its fierce energy on your own behalf, jealousy is part of the fuel toward a greener and more verdant future.
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And now your moment of Writing Zen:
“I don’t have a lot of respect for talent. Talent is genetic. It’s what you do with it that counts.” ~Martin Ritt
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What did you Write today?
~Casz
Casondra Brewster
Moderator/Founder
Sno Valley Writes!
Helping Writers Reach New Literary Peaks Since 2008
http://www.snovalleywrites.org
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“But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling, like dew upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.” ~ Lord Byron